The God of Animals by Aryn Kyle

In this powerful story about a young girl growing up on a rundown horse ranch in Colorado, Aryn Kyle takes us on a ride that is both heartbreaking and hopeful. Alice Winston is 12-years old and lives with her father, Joe, her mother, Marion, and, until recently, her 17-year old sister Nona who eloped with her boyfriend. Alice’s father is struggling to keep the ranch afloat and her mother never leaves the house. Alice feels isolated and confused as she attempts to put the puzzle pieces of her life together. Alice is living her life, but she does not understand it.  

The book exquisitely depicts life on a horse ranch and Alice’s internal musings about the people in her life. Alice also learns about human traits such as tenderness, cruelty and indifference by observing the interactions between her horses.  She tries to comprehend why her father does what he does, why her mother does not come downstairs, why her sister abandons them, and why her lab partner Polly Cain drowns. The adults that provide the scaffolding of her life are doing the best they can, but they are limited. There is no one on the ranch capable of taking care of Alice’s most basic needs. She wears her sister’s hand-me-downs that are either too big or too small.

Kyle captures the rich complexity of Alice’s interior life as she encounters her immediate family, her grandparents, her classmates, and eventually the rich women who board their horses at the ranch. Alice names this collection of women "the Catfish" and one of the daughters becomes her first friend. Issues of class, adultery, and alienation seep into the interactions at the barn. Though the Catfish provide money to the Winston family, the residue of these womens' dysfunctional lives affect Alice and she feels more confused than ever. Enter Alice’s English teacher, Mr. Delmar. Alice confides in Mr. Delmar and through their conversations, Alice starts to make sense of the world and gain self-confidence. 

One night, Alice’s mother Marion asks Alice about her father’s affection for Patty Jo, one of the Catfish. Alice is surprised that her mother knew her father's feelings, She says, “All these years, I had thought we were protecting her, shielding her from the ugly world outside. But now I wondered how I could have ever believed that I was protecting anyone from anything. The world was what it was. There were no secrets. There were only things that went unsaid.”

Kyle’s lyrical writing is both quiet and startling. She offers psychological insights and deep development of Alice's character.  There are wonderful quotes that made me reach for my highlighter. When Alice learns from her sister the reason for their mother's retreat to her room, Alice says, “This information, I didn’t have to accept it. Stories get twisted over time. Memories changed shape. It didn’t have to be truth if I didn’t want it to be. The event flashed through my mind and I saw it happen. Real or not, it would stay in my mind, a scar on something that had moments before been flawless. It would be there forever.” 

Kyle writes, “Childhood is never over, not really. But the places we come from don’t leave us as easily as we leave them.” No doubt Alice’s growing up will leave her with scars. It is hard to imagine recommending such a bleak book. Yet by the end of the novel, Alice has something she does not have at the beginning: a sense of empowerment. She better understands the choices and behaviors of the people in her life. The puzzle pieces are beginning to come together.