The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes

Most people wish they could "redo" an event in their past. Julian Barnes in his outstanding book, The Sense of an Ending, explores the role of repression and regret and maturation and memory in the evolution of a person. He extols the virtues of refection, while acknowledging the difficulty of the task. When Tony Webster is 17 years old, he attends a boarding school outside of London in the 1950s. When he learns that his good friend Adrian and his former girlfriend Veronica are romantically involved, Tony feels hurt and rejected. He writes a mean and bitter letter mocking their relationship. Even cursing them. He graduates, marries, pursues a career and has a daughter. He thinks little about Adrian and Veronica and that period of his life.

Forty years later Veronica’s mother passes away. The mother’s lawyer notifies Tony that Veronica’s mother has left him a small sum of money and two documents, one of which is his letter. Tony learns of the letter's ramifications in the lives of his former friends. He views the letter he barely remembers writing. He states,” I reread the letter several times. I could scarcely deny its authorship or its ugliness. All I could plead was that I had been its author, then, but was not it author now. Indeed I didn’t recognize that part of myself from which the letter came.” Tony is remorseful on behalf of his younger immature self, “I was just flailing around, trying to find a way to hurt.”

I don’t want to spoil all the twists and turns in Part 2, but the story hinges on why Veronica’s mother possesses Tony’s letter and wills it to him. Tony meets Veronica again and we understand Tony’s view of the events that had transpired before the letter. There is a question lurking in the narrative, Is Tony’s story truthful? Barnes warns us in the first few pages, “…we need to know the history of the historian in order to understand the version that is being put in front of us.” Now in their 60’s, Veronica says to Tony, "You still don't get it. You never did and you never will." The novel offers a sense of an ending, but not a clear ending. Readers must come to their own conclusions.

Barnes’ brilliantly illuminates the issues of misunderstanding and denial in communication. Memories have motives of their own and feelings can override facts. Human beings can rearrange events to create a parallel narrative that excludes unwanted information and emotions. In this age of twitter posts, I am struck by the importance of considering what we say and do. Impulsive actions often hurt. Humans want to be rational, but when it comes to love, loss, pride and shame, we are captive to our emotions. We can only understand our lives by looking at our pasts; we must attempt to make good choices in the present.