this is my daughter by Roxana Robinson

Though Roxanna Robinson’s book This is My Daughter is not as tightly constructed as her brilliant novel Cost, I believe Robinson is one of the most psychologically astute writers on the subject of family dynamics.

In this novel, Robinson explores the emotional fallout of divorce, especially on children. Emma Goodwin and Peter Chatfield live in the fast moving, well-to-do world of New York City. Their first marriages have ended and they begin to date. Though Emma and Peter seem to possess only superficial understandings of their prior marriages, Robinson provides her readers insight into their early lives and backgrounds.

Their relationship proceeds with ease except for the tension created by the interactions between their daughters. Emma’s daughter Tess is only 3, but Peter’s daughter Amanda is 8 and already troubled. Peter and Emma eventually marry and Amanda’s bossiness escalates to full bullying. Emma observes Amanda belittling Tess and finds it difficult to manage her feelings of resentment even though she knows she should. Emma’s own guilt about divorcing Tess’ father makes her vigilant in meeting Tess’ every need. Meanwhile, Peter is embarrassed and ashamed by his daughter’s behavior and yet requires her to spend summer after summer, holiday after holiday, with Emma and Tess. Peter cannot see his daughter for who she is: an angry, needy, traumatized child of divorce in need of thoughtful and mature parenting.

Roxana Robinson shares the inner thoughts of her characters as they reflect on this family predicament. With great empathy, Robinson conveys the emotional struggle within each of these characters. There is no simple solution for complex family dynamics, especially when the children just want life to return to the familiar pre-divorce routines.

The first two sections of the book could have been better edited, but the last third of the book crescendos to a compelling end, brought on by a crisis. Peter and Emma’s desperation to create a new family unit blinds them to the individual needs of their daughters. Their divorces leave a trail of emotional debris that they never say and never attempted to clean up. Amanda especially needs to be comforted and counseled. She needs love and support from Peter and Emma, not judgment and anger. Peter’s own narcissistic needs make him late to this acknowledgement, but he does arrive and actually begins to see his daughter with greater clarity. The good news is that Peter and Emma both reflect on their prior decisions and offer each other insight about their behaviors. It is not as if this family lives happily ever, but it feels that they will move forward with more understanding about themselves and each other. Really, what more can you ask for?